I don't know what happened here because it started out as an Ace Attorney AU and then..... (stares off into the distance) don't let Kuroo be the judge of anything.
--
“Dumbass! Dumbass!!”
Kageyama scowls in the direction of the witness stand; his lips are a tight line, his hands curling reflexively into a fist around the cracker treats in his pocket as the bright orange bird squawks at him. A faint sprinkling of cracker crumbs fall out, dusting his formal courtroom sneakers. “Judge Kuroo, I would like to cross-examine the parrot.”
Oikawa slams his hands onto the table from the other side of the court; the force of it flips his dainty little lace cravat into his face. “Objection! That’s absurd!”
“You’re absurd,” Kageyama mutters under his breath. He ducks his head as Oikawa turns the full force of his glare at him, but the rapid head movement only makes Oikawa’s perfectly coiffed hair do that cute little flip thing. He’s making that stupid demon face again, Kageyama thinks as he flushes pink, but probably better here than in bed.
“Need I remind you that you brought this parrot to the witness stand,” Judge Kuroo grins, head propped up lazily as he lounges at the bench. From where he’s sitting, Kageyama can see the boxers Judge Kuroo is wearing under his gown -- they’re red with little black cats winking cheekily. The lawful neutral boxers today, then. Kenma had slipped him a chart yesterday evening, to help him better predict the mood of the court.
“Well, I object to him then,” Oikawa says, voice dropping low and reverberating with intent as he points at Kageyama. Shafts of pale sunlight cut across the room from the high ceiling and light up brilliant off the diamond ring on Oikawa’s finger as his hand waves in the air.
“This is not a divorce court,” Judge Kuroo says, grin only getting bigger. “Please keep your weird sex things to the privacy of your own home.”
As if on cue, all eyes turn toward the parrot, fluttering excitedly in his cage as he starts to repeat loudly, “Call me senpai, Tobio! Call me senpai, Tobio!”
“Or not,” Judge Kuroo leers. More cracker crumbs fall out of Kageyama’s pocket as he goes completely red, hands fisted tight inside his pockets. “So did he call you senpai?”
“Of course he did,” Oikawa smiles in grand satisfaction, dusting imaginary lint off the shoulder of his mint green suit. “Tobio can be a very good kouhai when he puts his mind to it.”
“Why are we here again,” Kageyama groans from where his face is pressed into the wood of the table out of mortification.
“No reason, this is probably a weird sex thing.”
Judge Kuroo laughs ugly in delight, and holds up his hand for an air highfive from Oikawa. “Sustained!”
FILL: TEAM IMAIZUMI SHUNSUKE/NARUKO SHOUKICHI, T
sex talk
I don't know what happened here because it started out as an Ace Attorney AU and then..... (stares off into the distance) don't let Kuroo be the judge of anything.
--
“Dumbass! Dumbass!!”
Kageyama scowls in the direction of the witness stand; his lips are a tight line, his hands curling reflexively into a fist around the cracker treats in his pocket as the bright orange bird squawks at him. A faint sprinkling of cracker crumbs fall out, dusting his formal courtroom sneakers. “Judge Kuroo, I would like to cross-examine the parrot.”
Oikawa slams his hands onto the table from the other side of the court; the force of it flips his dainty little lace cravat into his face. “Objection! That’s absurd!”
“You’re absurd,” Kageyama mutters under his breath. He ducks his head as Oikawa turns the full force of his glare at him, but the rapid head movement only makes Oikawa’s perfectly coiffed hair do that cute little flip thing. He’s making that stupid demon face again, Kageyama thinks as he flushes pink, but probably better here than in bed.
“Need I remind you that you brought this parrot to the witness stand,” Judge Kuroo grins, head propped up lazily as he lounges at the bench. From where he’s sitting, Kageyama can see the boxers Judge Kuroo is wearing under his gown -- they’re red with little black cats winking cheekily. The lawful neutral boxers today, then. Kenma had slipped him a chart yesterday evening, to help him better predict the mood of the court.
“Well, I object to him then,” Oikawa says, voice dropping low and reverberating with intent as he points at Kageyama. Shafts of pale sunlight cut across the room from the high ceiling and light up brilliant off the diamond ring on Oikawa’s finger as his hand waves in the air.
“This is not a divorce court,” Judge Kuroo says, grin only getting bigger. “Please keep your weird sex things to the privacy of your own home.”
As if on cue, all eyes turn toward the parrot, fluttering excitedly in his cage as he starts to repeat loudly, “Call me senpai, Tobio! Call me senpai, Tobio!”
“Or not,” Judge Kuroo leers. More cracker crumbs fall out of Kageyama’s pocket as he goes completely red, hands fisted tight inside his pockets. “So did he call you senpai?”
“Of course he did,” Oikawa smiles in grand satisfaction, dusting imaginary lint off the shoulder of his mint green suit. “Tobio can be a very good kouhai when he puts his mind to it.”
“Why are we here again,” Kageyama groans from where his face is pressed into the wood of the table out of mortification.
“No reason, this is probably a weird sex thing.”
Judge Kuroo laughs ugly in delight, and holds up his hand for an air highfive from Oikawa. “Sustained!”