Furuya Satoru/Miyuki Kazuya, Daiya no A no major tags, fallen angels, very mild body horror? words: 1,443
The day Satoru loses his first feather he knows he’s in trouble. It falls from above his head, drifting down gently to disturb the peacefulness of the viewing basin, sending ripples through the water that distort the view of the man he was watching. The others had tried to warn him of the dangers of looking so long at one human but he’d ignored them, even knowing the risks that came with getting too attached or biased when it came to humans.
Miyuki Kazuya is one of many humans Satoru has watched over, measuring the weight of his soul as is Satoru’s job. Miyuki is certainly not the purest human, he’s decidedly average in terms of morality; he often causes unintentional pain with his thoughtless remarks, can be manipulative at times but Satoru only counts those slightly against his soul as it’s never for his own personal gain. It’s not the goodness of his soul that catches Satoru’s attention but rather the holes in it. He can see the pain of lost loved ones, and fear of being hurt, the frayed edges of loneliness that are all too familiar to Satoru. It makes him wonder if his own soul has the same frays.
Even after he had a good read on Miyuki he couldn’t help checking back in a little too often for anything to have changed, or at least that’s what he tried to tell himself but watching Miyuki now with the ripple from his feather starting to settle a terrible feeling is taking hold. His pale fingers clutch the rim of the basin tightly, his knuckles turning even whiter and his stomach churning as he watches a man he’s never seen kissing Miyuki, the two of them a tangle of naked limbs on Miyuki’s bed. The look on his already beautiful face is one of bliss and Satoru has another wave of that unfamiliar feeling, another feather falling in the basin; a mix of jealousy and lust making his knees weak.
He looks away after that, scared that someone will notice as he tries to calm himself, capture that feeling of detached peace he’s had for as long as he can remember. He plucks the two feathers out of the water and drapes them over his wings as if by osmosis they’ll somehow reattach themselves, as if after a Fall has started it can be undone.
The feathers don’t stop falling and he doesn’t bother picking them up any more. No one says anything to him about it and he’s not sure if he’s grateful or not. He could do with a distraction right now with the sickness growing in his stomach but he’s always been quiet and he’s not close with any of the other angels. It seems inevitable that his great white wings shed themselves bare. What happens after that he’s not sure, maybe he gets sent to hell.
If he’s going to hell anyway he might as well indulge himself; he tunes in to where Miyuki is, prepared for another wave of jealousy to hit him but it doesn’t come. He’s by himself now and Satoru can feel the waves of bitter loneliness rolling off of him as he washes his dishes in his apartment, his heart heavy with despair and so is Satoru’s. He didn’t enjoy seeing Miyuki with someone else but he’d give anything for him to be happy and loved the way he should be, if only…
The clouds beneath his feet open up and suddenly he’s plummeting toward the earth in a panic, his wings too sparse and weak to fly, all they can do is slow him down in burst as he tries to get his bearings. By the time he reaches the ground in a flurry of falling feathers he’s in pain but he knows where he is, he’s been guiltily watching the occupants of this apartment building for some times. He can’t decide if this is a blessing or a curse, on hands and knees in the alleyway next to the garbage outside Miyuki’s apartment building when he hears footsteps approach him. He tries to recoil, make himself as small as possible, praying to a god who no longer has any use for him that he’ll be somehow invisible to mortals still but the softly breathed curse tells him he’s perfectly visible.
“Holy shit,” the voice says, the thump of his garbage bag hitting the asphalt followed by hurried steps in Satoru’s direction. “Are you…are you alright?”
Satoru flinches under the hands touching his shoulders and he looks up reluctantly into a deep pair of brown eyes, eyebrows creased with concern and if he hadn’t seen heaven with his own eyes he would think this was it.
He tries to take stock of himself, since this is his new reality but all he feels is hurt through his body, limbs sore from the impact of falling and his dying wings sending burning waves of pain down his back.
“It hurts,” he says in a voice he can’t remember using but Miyuki understands him.
“It looks like it, fuck…I…I don’t know what to do.” Satoru looks up again and watches Miyuki think, running a hand through hair that looks a little greasier than his usual level of cleanliness. He feels deeply ashamed that he knows that. “I can’t just call an ambulance or bring you to a doctor can I? You’re…you’re an angel aren’t you?”
Satoru nods slowly since there’s no sense in trying to hide it.
“I was,” he says quietly. “I fell. I don’t know what I am now.”
“You’re a mess is what you are,” Miyuki says and the corner of Satoru’s lip twitches up inexplicably. “Can you stand? I’m taking you back to my apartment.”
Satoru stands with Miyuki’s help, apologizing profusely for more than just Miyuki helping him up and taking him into his home but Miyuki just waves him off.
“Look, I’m not even sure if this is real or not,” Miyuki says, as he settles Satoru carefully on his couch. “It could be a hallucination brought on by…never mind.” He clears his throat, looking away for a moment. “Is there something I can do? Pain medication...pants? Not that I mind the view,” he laughs nervously.
Satoru closes his eyes, feeling his face heat up. “Pants, please,” he says softly, filled with embarrassment at his exposed body; although he supposes it’s only fair, he’s seen Miyuki naked before. That doesn’t make him feel better, neither does slipping into a pair of Miyuki’s sweat pants, too short for his long legs but doing the job of covering his crotch.
“This is so weird,” Miyuki says as Satoru sits again. “I feel like I must be dreaming but you’re real.” He reaches out and touches Satoru’s arm for reassurance and Satoru’s heartbeat increases. “How did you get here?”
“I fell,” Satoru repeats, closing his eyes.
“But why? How? I have so many questions; what’s heaven like?”
“I…impure thoughts,” Satoru admits. “Jealousy, lust…” He cracks his eyes open to see Miyuki looking at him seriously. He looks passed him so he’s not staring. “Heaven is…lonely. And boring.”
Miyuki huffs. “That doesn’t sound fun at all. If there’s no sex in heaven is it really even heaven?”
Satoru blushes. “I’m not sure where normal humans go, maybe there is…but not where I was.”
He cringes with pain again, leaning forward and grunting as his wings continue to deteriorate. Miyuki touches his head gently, stroking his hair.
“It’s alright, you’re here now. No rules against jealousy or lust or anything fun, within reason…I’ll help you figure things out alright? Get you on your feet in your new life…”
“You shouldn’t,” Satoru pants, closing his eyes tight. “I don’t deserve it…I don’t deserve you.” The hand stroking his hair stills and Satoru can feel the unasked question linger in the air. “I fell because I couldn’t control myself anymore,” he says in a rush. “I wanted to touch you, hold you, give you the love I could see you deserve but I’m…I’m nothing, no one, I have nothing to offer you.” He can feel his eyes start to water with bitterness. The hand on his head leaves and he expects Miyuki to make him leave but instead he finds his face cupped with gentle hands, angling his head up to look at the face he knows too well and yet not enough.
“That’s an amazing coincidence; I want to be touched and held and loved, more than anything.”
He leans forward, pressing his lips to Satoru’s softly and the pain disappears, his new life unfolding in front of him, full of possibilities.
Fill: Team Furuya Satoru/Miyuki Kazuya, T
no major tags, fallen angels, very mild body horror?
words: 1,443
The day Satoru loses his first feather he knows he’s in trouble. It falls from above his head, drifting down gently to disturb the peacefulness of the viewing basin, sending ripples through the water that distort the view of the man he was watching. The others had tried to warn him of the dangers of looking so long at one human but he’d ignored them, even knowing the risks that came with getting too attached or biased when it came to humans.
Miyuki Kazuya is one of many humans Satoru has watched over, measuring the weight of his soul as is Satoru’s job. Miyuki is certainly not the purest human, he’s decidedly average in terms of morality; he often causes unintentional pain with his thoughtless remarks, can be manipulative at times but Satoru only counts those slightly against his soul as it’s never for his own personal gain. It’s not the goodness of his soul that catches Satoru’s attention but rather the holes in it. He can see the pain of lost loved ones, and fear of being hurt, the frayed edges of loneliness that are all too familiar to Satoru. It makes him wonder if his own soul has the same frays.
Even after he had a good read on Miyuki he couldn’t help checking back in a little too often for anything to have changed, or at least that’s what he tried to tell himself but watching Miyuki now with the ripple from his feather starting to settle a terrible feeling is taking hold. His pale fingers clutch the rim of the basin tightly, his knuckles turning even whiter and his stomach churning as he watches a man he’s never seen kissing Miyuki, the two of them a tangle of naked limbs on Miyuki’s bed. The look on his already beautiful face is one of bliss and Satoru has another wave of that unfamiliar feeling, another feather falling in the basin; a mix of jealousy and lust making his knees weak.
He looks away after that, scared that someone will notice as he tries to calm himself, capture that feeling of detached peace he’s had for as long as he can remember. He plucks the two feathers out of the water and drapes them over his wings as if by osmosis they’ll somehow reattach themselves, as if after a Fall has started it can be undone.
The feathers don’t stop falling and he doesn’t bother picking them up any more. No one says anything to him about it and he’s not sure if he’s grateful or not. He could do with a distraction right now with the sickness growing in his stomach but he’s always been quiet and he’s not close with any of the other angels. It seems inevitable that his great white wings shed themselves bare. What happens after that he’s not sure, maybe he gets sent to hell.
If he’s going to hell anyway he might as well indulge himself; he tunes in to where Miyuki is, prepared for another wave of jealousy to hit him but it doesn’t come. He’s by himself now and Satoru can feel the waves of bitter loneliness rolling off of him as he washes his dishes in his apartment, his heart heavy with despair and so is Satoru’s. He didn’t enjoy seeing Miyuki with someone else but he’d give anything for him to be happy and loved the way he should be, if only…
The clouds beneath his feet open up and suddenly he’s plummeting toward the earth in a panic, his wings too sparse and weak to fly, all they can do is slow him down in burst as he tries to get his bearings. By the time he reaches the ground in a flurry of falling feathers he’s in pain but he knows where he is, he’s been guiltily watching the occupants of this apartment building for some times. He can’t decide if this is a blessing or a curse, on hands and knees in the alleyway next to the garbage outside Miyuki’s apartment building when he hears footsteps approach him. He tries to recoil, make himself as small as possible, praying to a god who no longer has any use for him that he’ll be somehow invisible to mortals still but the softly breathed curse tells him he’s perfectly visible.
“Holy shit,” the voice says, the thump of his garbage bag hitting the asphalt followed by hurried steps in Satoru’s direction. “Are you…are you alright?”
Satoru flinches under the hands touching his shoulders and he looks up reluctantly into a deep pair of brown eyes, eyebrows creased with concern and if he hadn’t seen heaven with his own eyes he would think this was it.
He tries to take stock of himself, since this is his new reality but all he feels is hurt through his body, limbs sore from the impact of falling and his dying wings sending burning waves of pain down his back.
“It hurts,” he says in a voice he can’t remember using but Miyuki understands him.
“It looks like it, fuck…I…I don’t know what to do.” Satoru looks up again and watches Miyuki think, running a hand through hair that looks a little greasier than his usual level of cleanliness. He feels deeply ashamed that he knows that. “I can’t just call an ambulance or bring you to a doctor can I? You’re…you’re an angel aren’t you?”
Satoru nods slowly since there’s no sense in trying to hide it.
“I was,” he says quietly. “I fell. I don’t know what I am now.”
“You’re a mess is what you are,” Miyuki says and the corner of Satoru’s lip twitches up inexplicably. “Can you stand? I’m taking you back to my apartment.”
Satoru stands with Miyuki’s help, apologizing profusely for more than just Miyuki helping him up and taking him into his home but Miyuki just waves him off.
“Look, I’m not even sure if this is real or not,” Miyuki says, as he settles Satoru carefully on his couch. “It could be a hallucination brought on by…never mind.” He clears his throat, looking away for a moment. “Is there something I can do? Pain medication...pants? Not that I mind the view,” he laughs nervously.
Satoru closes his eyes, feeling his face heat up. “Pants, please,” he says softly, filled with embarrassment at his exposed body; although he supposes it’s only fair, he’s seen Miyuki naked before. That doesn’t make him feel better, neither does slipping into a pair of Miyuki’s sweat pants, too short for his long legs but doing the job of covering his crotch.
“This is so weird,” Miyuki says as Satoru sits again. “I feel like I must be dreaming but you’re real.” He reaches out and touches Satoru’s arm for reassurance and Satoru’s heartbeat increases. “How did you get here?”
“I fell,” Satoru repeats, closing his eyes.
“But why? How? I have so many questions; what’s heaven like?”
“I…impure thoughts,” Satoru admits. “Jealousy, lust…” He cracks his eyes open to see Miyuki looking at him seriously. He looks passed him so he’s not staring. “Heaven is…lonely. And boring.”
Miyuki huffs. “That doesn’t sound fun at all. If there’s no sex in heaven is it really even heaven?”
Satoru blushes. “I’m not sure where normal humans go, maybe there is…but not where I was.”
He cringes with pain again, leaning forward and grunting as his wings continue to deteriorate. Miyuki touches his head gently, stroking his hair.
“It’s alright, you’re here now. No rules against jealousy or lust or anything fun, within reason…I’ll help you figure things out alright? Get you on your feet in your new life…”
“You shouldn’t,” Satoru pants, closing his eyes tight. “I don’t deserve it…I don’t deserve you.” The hand stroking his hair stills and Satoru can feel the unasked question linger in the air. “I fell because I couldn’t control myself anymore,” he says in a rush. “I wanted to touch you, hold you, give you the love I could see you deserve but I’m…I’m nothing, no one, I have nothing to offer you.” He can feel his eyes start to water with bitterness. The hand on his head leaves and he expects Miyuki to make him leave but instead he finds his face cupped with gentle hands, angling his head up to look at the face he knows too well and yet not enough.
“That’s an amazing coincidence; I want to be touched and held and loved, more than anything.”
He leans forward, pressing his lips to Satoru’s softly and the pain disappears, his new life unfolding in front of him, full of possibilities.