Major Tags: None Other Tags: Anthropomorphic Food, Food Innuendo, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Crack Treated Seriously Word Count: 555
So... anthropomorphic food is one of those tropes that's weirdly in my wheelhouse.
For reference, Oikawa is ice cream and Iwaizumi is apple pie (feel free to find all the symbolism you want out of that). Yahaba was supposed to be crème brûlée, until I realized sticking crème brûlée under a heat lamp was blasphemous, so he's soufflé instead.
It's more like their souls inhabit the dish that they are, instead of being a specific dish (i.e. Iwaizumi is every apple pie baked/served at the restaurant and not a specific slice of pie). I was trying to figure out how facial expressions work in this universe, but then I realized that I was way too deep into this Food AU, so just... have a suspension of disbelief, to make it all work.
***
Hanamaki doesn't often get the chance to interact with the appetizers or entrees. The desserts are more often kept separate from the others. They’re always served at the end, when the other plates have been cleared away. If he's unlucky he'll have to talk with the bitter coffees, or, on a good day, the specialty cheese plate.
He's much more familiar with the dual cloying sweetness and frigid cold of Oikawa and the grounded, familiar warmth of Iwaizumi, than the meats, seafood, and vegetables that comprise the rest of dishes in the restaurant. Occasionally some of the other desserts, like Yahaba, get to talk with the other meals while waiting under the heat lamps to be served, but Hanamaki's never had to, with his cream filling that tasted best when perfectly chilled.
It comes as a surprise when he's taken out of the fridge and placed on the counter, instead of being directly taken to a table. He can't see much from his vantage point, but hears a cascade of crashing dishes and the waiters cursing a moment later.
Whoever was supposed to deliver Hanamaki's goods had forgotten in the chaos of the spill, leaving him on the counter to room to room temperature.
Another waiter rushes past the counter, placing a plate beside Hanamaki, while grabbing dustpan, and running towards the scene of the mess. He hears the sizzling of the hot dish and feels his insides melt a little at the warmth. Even Iwaizumi, fresh out the oven, has never felt this hot to Hanamaki (even with Oikawa's indignant screams of "I'm melting!")
A voice that seems to penetrate Hanamaki's very core asks, "You come here a lot?" Hanamaki doesn't turn to look at the entree, but he can imagine the lazy smirk that would go with that voice.
"It depends on who's asking," Hanamaki asks coyly. He doesn't mind a little bit of flirting, and if it meant that he could hear that voice again, he would give up all his filling if he had to.
"Matsukawa Issei, the hottest hamburger steak in town."
"Hanamaki Takahiro, resident cream puff."
"I'll be the one putting the cream into you tonight."
Hanamaki burst out laughing, feeling light in the other's presence. "That's your pick-up line? I'm the one that actually has cream come out of my body."
"Like you could do any better, Makki," Matsukawa whines, but with a challenge in his voice. Hanamaki imagines how cute the steak would look with a pout on his face.
"I'm going to make you sizzle hotter than any broiler. You thought you've seen steaks before, but you've never seen mine. Your juices won't be the only thing leaking out of you tonight." Matsukawa cuts him off with a sharp, obnoxious laugh.
"Okay, okay. I get it, you're the king of pick-up lines." His laughter is infectious, and Hanamaki giggles. They sound so different, and yet when Hanamaki's light, bubbling giggles mix with Matsukawa deep, belly laughter, it sounds harmonious.
Matsukawa suddenly cuts off, and Hanamaki looks up to see the waiters that had forgotten about them, start walking towards them, the mess cleaned up.
"Until we meet again, Makki."
"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Mattsun."
He trades one last secret smile with Matsukawa, before the two of them are carried off to separate tables.
Fill: Team Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, T
Other Tags: Anthropomorphic Food, Food Innuendo, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Crack Treated Seriously
Word Count: 555
So... anthropomorphic food is one of those tropes that's weirdly in my wheelhouse.
For reference, Oikawa is ice cream and Iwaizumi is apple pie (feel free to find all the symbolism you want out of that). Yahaba was supposed to be crème brûlée, until I realized sticking crème brûlée under a heat lamp was blasphemous, so he's soufflé instead.
It's more like their souls inhabit the dish that they are, instead of being a specific dish (i.e. Iwaizumi is every apple pie baked/served at the restaurant and not a specific slice of pie). I was trying to figure out how facial expressions work in this universe, but then I realized that I was way too deep into this Food AU, so just... have a suspension of disbelief, to make it all work.
***
Hanamaki doesn't often get the chance to interact with the appetizers or entrees. The desserts are more often kept separate from the others. They’re always served at the end, when the other plates have been cleared away. If he's unlucky he'll have to talk with the bitter coffees, or, on a good day, the specialty cheese plate.
He's much more familiar with the dual cloying sweetness and frigid cold of Oikawa and the grounded, familiar warmth of Iwaizumi, than the meats, seafood, and vegetables that comprise the rest of dishes in the restaurant. Occasionally some of the other desserts, like Yahaba, get to talk with the other meals while waiting under the heat lamps to be served, but Hanamaki's never had to, with his cream filling that tasted best when perfectly chilled.
It comes as a surprise when he's taken out of the fridge and placed on the counter, instead of being directly taken to a table. He can't see much from his vantage point, but hears a cascade of crashing dishes and the waiters cursing a moment later.
Whoever was supposed to deliver Hanamaki's goods had forgotten in the chaos of the spill, leaving him on the counter to room to room temperature.
Another waiter rushes past the counter, placing a plate beside Hanamaki, while grabbing dustpan, and running towards the scene of the mess. He hears the sizzling of the hot dish and feels his insides melt a little at the warmth. Even Iwaizumi, fresh out the oven, has never felt this hot to Hanamaki (even with Oikawa's indignant screams of "I'm melting!")
A voice that seems to penetrate Hanamaki's very core asks, "You come here a lot?" Hanamaki doesn't turn to look at the entree, but he can imagine the lazy smirk that would go with that voice.
"It depends on who's asking," Hanamaki asks coyly. He doesn't mind a little bit of flirting, and if it meant that he could hear that voice again, he would give up all his filling if he had to.
"Matsukawa Issei, the hottest hamburger steak in town."
"Hanamaki Takahiro, resident cream puff."
"I'll be the one putting the cream into you tonight."
Hanamaki burst out laughing, feeling light in the other's presence. "That's your pick-up line? I'm the one that actually has cream come out of my body."
"Like you could do any better, Makki," Matsukawa whines, but with a challenge in his voice. Hanamaki imagines how cute the steak would look with a pout on his face.
"I'm going to make you sizzle hotter than any broiler. You thought you've seen steaks before, but you've never seen mine. Your juices won't be the only thing leaking out of you tonight." Matsukawa cuts him off with a sharp, obnoxious laugh.
"Okay, okay. I get it, you're the king of pick-up lines." His laughter is infectious, and Hanamaki giggles. They sound so different, and yet when Hanamaki's light, bubbling giggles mix with Matsukawa deep, belly laughter, it sounds harmonious.
Matsukawa suddenly cuts off, and Hanamaki looks up to see the waiters that had forgotten about them, start walking towards them, the mess cleaned up.
"Until we meet again, Makki."
"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Mattsun."
He trades one last secret smile with Matsukawa, before the two of them are carried off to separate tables.