warning for talk (but not use) of sex toys. well i went a totally different route with this (it counts right? right?) unapologetically co-inspired by a recent buzzfeed article. word count: 1055
“Hey, do you see this?”
“Hm?” Shibayama pauses to see Inuoka stopped before a window. He backtracks to peer at whatever Inuoka’s happily pointing at, expecting to find a tray of food or a sweets shop or the promotion poster to an upcoming movie. What he does see makes his eyes grow wide.
“Okay,” Shibayama says.
“Doesn’t that one look sweet? The fur looks so soft! Haven’t you thought about what it’d be like to have a tail?”
“If you had one it would be wagging all the time.”
“Woof,” Inuoka says around a crooked grin. Shibayama bites his lip and tries not to laugh. “Didn’t people have them a long time ago though? Tails, I mean.”
“A long time ago if you’re talking about tails with primary functions, like what cats and dogs use for balance. We just have tailbones now, the coccyx. It’s a remnant of a vestigial tail that are found in humans and apes, and some other primates, and a lot of people think they’re completely useless now like the appendix – which you do actually need after all - but if you look at the embryo of any mammal during a certain point in its development you would be able to see a tail, even in humans, so we do kind of still have them for a few weeks in the womb if you think that counts—“
“Yuuki,” Inuoka interrupts, making him aware of his rambling. “You’re really smart.”
Shibayama smiles and turns his head back to the window, eyes immediately landing on a pair of fuzzy handcuffs wrapped around a manikin’s wrist. Reluctantly, he remembers where they’re at.
“Hey,” Inuoka asks in dreadfully perfect timing, “Do you think they have a tail that matches my hair color in here? Maybe I could dye a white one if they don’t. I wonder if they have those Necomimi ears too.”
Shibayama glances up and down the street before clearing his throat. “Sou? Are you… Do you know what this is?”
“Yeah,” Inuoka answers, aiming a winsome smile at him. It’s a costume shop. “It’s a sex shop.”
Shibayama’s heart leaps out of his chest a little, and he stares at Inuoka’s disappearing back in muted horror as a little doorbell jingles to signal their entrance. He’s not sure if he wanted to know that Inuoka knows what a sex shop is, or how the other first year feels so comfortable humming an aimless tune of ‘ooh’s and ‘ahh’s while passing an endless display of dildos in increasingly alarming shape and size, all of which Shibayama tries very hard not to ogle for fear of his parents somehow finding out about their raunchy foray into a place he doesn’t think minors are allowed to visit. It’s a slow week day and there’s no one behind the counter. Shibayama prays it stays that way as he quickens his steps to catch up to Inuoka.
“Hitachi Magic Wand,” Inuoka’s reading from a little placard akin to museum quotes placed next to priceless works of art. “’Simple design, incredible power, and long-lasting quality... The Magic Wand is best suited to those who enjoy deep, powerful vibrations, this wand can be enjoyed by beginners and advanced users alike... Pleasing housewives since the seventies.’ Wow. That’s, like,” Inuoka’s hand reverently curls over the tennis ball sized vinyl head. “Historical.”
“Mhm,” Shibayama agrees, tight-lipped. He turns around when Inuoka picks the vibrator up and turns it on. He closes his eyes. He’s not going to survive.
Behind him Inuoka giggles. “You know what this reminds me of?”
“What?” Shibayama asks, curious despite his growing horror.
“Evanesco!” Inuoka shouts, extending the wand with a flourish.
If only, Shibayama thinks, but he hears a tremulous burst of laughter fly out of his mouth anyway. Inuoka, seemingly satisfied by the response, begins rolling the vibrator up and down his arm, and Shibayama has to look away again except there’s really no safe place to let his gaze settle for very long. The back wall reminds him of the prize wall at arcades, jam packed with an overwhelming amount of sex toys in colorful boxes. There’s even a bright blinking sign boldly declaring that SEX IS BACK.
A woman suddenly appears from the back room, looking rushed and apologetic.
“I’m sorry for the delay, I didn’t hear anyone come in until- are those high school uniforms?”
“Oh, hi.” Undaunted, Inuoka drops the Hitachi Magic Wand, where it jitters frantically across the counter. Alarmed and painfully polite, Shibayama picks it up, flips the switch off, and sets it back onto its little pedestal. “I’m looking for a tail!”
That’s it, Shibayama thinks, turning on heel. He’s outside in a blur of second, heaving great breaths of relief as soon as the door jingles shut behind him. He rubs a hand over his face and waits for his heart to stop pounding. There's a bank right next door. Why couldn't they have gone into the bank instead?
Inuoka bursts out the door a minute later.
“I'm so sorry! We can get out of here!” He winds an arm around Shibayama’s shoulders and steers them back onto the sidewalk. “Are you okay?”
“Yep.”
“You can tell me to stop when I do stuff like that that makes you uncomfortable. I won’t be angry.”
“I know,” Shibayama replies. “But you seemed excited about the tail. You didn’t buy anything?”
“She said I couldn’t.” Inuoka glances down at him with that quiet, contemplative frown that always reminds him of just how perceptive he is, but then, like the sun appearing from behind a shroud of clouds, it’s replaced by a warm and beaming smile matched by a squeeze to his shoulder that makes affection creep up the back of his neck.
“You’re the best, Yuuki,” Inuoka announces, and then without further preamble, “Do you want to grab some ice cream?”
“Ugh,” Shibayama groans. “Yes please. Your treat.”
“My treat,” Inuoka agrees, sliding his hand down his arm until he can twine two fingers around Shibayama’s. Shibayama wiggles his hand until they’re properly laced together.
It’s hard to match paces with Inuoka’s loping strides but they eventually find a tempo for each other. Inuoka swings their arms back and forth, looking content with the world.
If he had one, Shibayama wonders if his tail would be wagging too.
FILL: Team Abe Takaya/Mihashi Ren, T
“Hey, do you see this?”
“Hm?” Shibayama pauses to see Inuoka stopped before a window. He backtracks to peer at whatever Inuoka’s happily pointing at, expecting to find a tray of food or a sweets shop or the promotion poster to an upcoming movie. What he does see makes his eyes grow wide.
“Okay,” Shibayama says.
“Doesn’t that one look sweet? The fur looks so soft! Haven’t you thought about what it’d be like to have a tail?”
“If you had one it would be wagging all the time.”
“Woof,” Inuoka says around a crooked grin. Shibayama bites his lip and tries not to laugh. “Didn’t people have them a long time ago though? Tails, I mean.”
“A long time ago if you’re talking about tails with primary functions, like what cats and dogs use for balance. We just have tailbones now, the coccyx. It’s a remnant of a vestigial tail that are found in humans and apes, and some other primates, and a lot of people think they’re completely useless now like the appendix – which you do actually need after all - but if you look at the embryo of any mammal during a certain point in its development you would be able to see a tail, even in humans, so we do kind of still have them for a few weeks in the womb if you think that counts—“
“Yuuki,” Inuoka interrupts, making him aware of his rambling. “You’re really smart.”
Shibayama smiles and turns his head back to the window, eyes immediately landing on a pair of fuzzy handcuffs wrapped around a manikin’s wrist. Reluctantly, he remembers where they’re at.
“Hey,” Inuoka asks in dreadfully perfect timing, “Do you think they have a tail that matches my hair color in here? Maybe I could dye a white one if they don’t. I wonder if they have those Necomimi ears too.”
Shibayama glances up and down the street before clearing his throat. “Sou? Are you… Do you know what this is?”
“Yeah,” Inuoka answers, aiming a winsome smile at him. It’s a costume shop. “It’s a sex shop.”
Shibayama’s heart leaps out of his chest a little, and he stares at Inuoka’s disappearing back in muted horror as a little doorbell jingles to signal their entrance. He’s not sure if he wanted to know that Inuoka knows what a sex shop is, or how the other first year feels so comfortable humming an aimless tune of ‘ooh’s and ‘ahh’s while passing an endless display of dildos in increasingly alarming shape and size, all of which Shibayama tries very hard not to ogle for fear of his parents somehow finding out about their raunchy foray into a place he doesn’t think minors are allowed to visit. It’s a slow week day and there’s no one behind the counter. Shibayama prays it stays that way as he quickens his steps to catch up to Inuoka.
“Hitachi Magic Wand,” Inuoka’s reading from a little placard akin to museum quotes placed next to priceless works of art. “’Simple design, incredible power, and long-lasting quality... The Magic Wand is best suited to those who enjoy deep, powerful vibrations, this wand can be enjoyed by beginners and advanced users alike... Pleasing housewives since the seventies.’ Wow. That’s, like,” Inuoka’s hand reverently curls over the tennis ball sized vinyl head. “Historical.”
“Mhm,” Shibayama agrees, tight-lipped. He turns around when Inuoka picks the vibrator up and turns it on. He closes his eyes. He’s not going to survive.
Behind him Inuoka giggles. “You know what this reminds me of?”
“What?” Shibayama asks, curious despite his growing horror.
“Evanesco!” Inuoka shouts, extending the wand with a flourish.
If only, Shibayama thinks, but he hears a tremulous burst of laughter fly out of his mouth anyway. Inuoka, seemingly satisfied by the response, begins rolling the vibrator up and down his arm, and Shibayama has to look away again except there’s really no safe place to let his gaze settle for very long. The back wall reminds him of the prize wall at arcades, jam packed with an overwhelming amount of sex toys in colorful boxes. There’s even a bright blinking sign boldly declaring that SEX IS BACK.
A woman suddenly appears from the back room, looking rushed and apologetic.
“I’m sorry for the delay, I didn’t hear anyone come in until- are those high school uniforms?”
“Oh, hi.” Undaunted, Inuoka drops the Hitachi Magic Wand, where it jitters frantically across the counter. Alarmed and painfully polite, Shibayama picks it up, flips the switch off, and sets it back onto its little pedestal. “I’m looking for a tail!”
That’s it, Shibayama thinks, turning on heel. He’s outside in a blur of second, heaving great breaths of relief as soon as the door jingles shut behind him. He rubs a hand over his face and waits for his heart to stop pounding. There's a bank right next door. Why couldn't they have gone into the bank instead?
Inuoka bursts out the door a minute later.
“I'm so sorry! We can get out of here!” He winds an arm around Shibayama’s shoulders and steers them back onto the sidewalk. “Are you okay?”
“Yep.”
“You can tell me to stop when I do stuff like that that makes you uncomfortable. I won’t be angry.”
“I know,” Shibayama replies. “But you seemed excited about the tail. You didn’t buy anything?”
“She said I couldn’t.” Inuoka glances down at him with that quiet, contemplative frown that always reminds him of just how perceptive he is, but then, like the sun appearing from behind a shroud of clouds, it’s replaced by a warm and beaming smile matched by a squeeze to his shoulder that makes affection creep up the back of his neck.
“You’re the best, Yuuki,” Inuoka announces, and then without further preamble, “Do you want to grab some ice cream?”
“Ugh,” Shibayama groans. “Yes please. Your treat.”
“My treat,” Inuoka agrees, sliding his hand down his arm until he can twine two fingers around Shibayama’s. Shibayama wiggles his hand until they’re properly laced together.
It’s hard to match paces with Inuoka’s loping strides but they eventually find a tempo for each other. Inuoka swings their arms back and forth, looking content with the world.
If he had one, Shibayama wonders if his tail would be wagging too.