egocentric_m09: (Default)
egocentric_m09 ([personal profile] egocentric_m09) wrote in [community profile] sportsanime 2015-06-03 07:01 pm (UTC)

FILL: team Aomine Daiki/ Kagami Taiga/ Kise Ryouta/ Kuroko Tetsuya, M

Character death
445 words

whoopsie it turned out a lil bit more angsty than I thought sorry :S

When I first confessed to you, you didn't even understand what I meant. With a bored look you just brushed it off, going on focusing all your attention on your brand new video game. If only I had the strength that time to tell you how badly I wanted and needed your attention on me instead.
Then time passed and I confessed again.
I love you, Kenma, I have ever had.
I was so in love I couldn't help myself, and those words fell out my mouth in the same natural way we breath out fresh air. However when you replied me it felt like I couldn't even do something as simple as that.
You said no, it was sudden and you needed to wait, to think it over. To be honest the first thing I felt was anger. Man, how could you not notice how I looked, behaved and cared about you for all this time? Then I understood how wrong I were because If I really had been your childhood friend, the person who knew you best, then, I should have foreseen this conclusion. For an insecure person like you love was a strong word. And you would run away from it.
You asked me to wait and this is what I did.
Time passed and I decided to bring up the matter again. Only then you felt comfortable enough to tell me why you needed time. Have faith in another person and giving them your all was difficult for you who didn't even trust himself or his feelings. However I didn’t lost my interest in you, although you turned me down once again. And I kept waiting for you to reach my side.
Now I think again about it. When you finally said in a shaky voice that you didn't felt something for anyone and it would have been unnatural trying to love me back. Maybe you needed more time to reflect and I was sure I would have waited.
I would have waited till eternity for you and this is what I have to do now. In front of me there is only a cold grave, your name is painfully written over it. As I stand the only thing I feel is the lack of your presence near me. What will happen from now on? Will my feelings ever change? These and many other questions that I couldn’t keep away are making my head spin like crazy.
In the end while I'm still here and you're not, in the utter mess in my mind I acknowledged a fundamental truth: between us, it is me the one who goes on doubting himself.




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