Warning for manga spoilers (related to the brothers' backstory). 1069 words
Note: I chose Kei & Akiteru. The firefly thing is a pun on the kanji in Kei's name, which means firefly.
Sometimes when Akiteru couldn't sleep, he would stay up and write letters to Kei. Though Akiteru was the one who had gone away to college, it felt to Akiteru that Kei had left him first.
If the coffee Akiteru drank to help him stay alert while studying didn't keep him up, his memories did. He would never forget the day Kei saw him on the in the stands at that Karasuno game; the game that he let Kei believe he would be a starting player in.
While he knew nothing would come of it, he found himself writing anyway.
Dear Kei,
We learned about bioluminescence in biology class today and it made me think of you--not just because of the whole "firefly" thing (haha), but because I think you'd find it really interesting. Do you know if there were ever bioluminescent dinosaurs? I know one of your old T-rex toys was glow-in-the dark--or maybe it was a triceratops? It was the one you left at the park when you were three and you cried and cried until I found it again after searching the playground for like an hour. You were so happy when I found it again!
How's volleyball going? Are you still playing middle blocker
This is where the letters usually ended; when Akiteru either put them away in a drawer of his desk or violently crumpled them up and threw them in the trash, depending on how his night was going. Tonight the letter ended up in a drawer. Akiteru thought the beginning part was salvageable if he ever stopped being such a coward and actually wrote a real, honest letter to his brother.
Tonight was a full moon. Though he had put his books away a few hours ago, Akiteru was still wide awake. The moonlight filtered through his thin dorm curtains and spilled across the thin dorm carpet. He missed home. He missed his house and his parents and, of course Kei.
He closed his eyes in an attempt to drift off to sleep. It was not the first such attempt of the night, and like the previous attempts, it led him to a convoluted twist of thoughts and memories instead of sleep. Suddenly Kei was six again and eating strawberry mochi ice with thirteen-year-old Akiteru, who had just come home from volleyball practice. Akiteru had brought the treats home as a special snack.
"This is so good, nii-chan!" Kei exclaimed between bites. His eyes were wide behind the thick frames of his glasses, which he had even at that age.
"I'm glad you like it," Akiteru said, "Just slow down before you get a brain freeze, eh?"
"My brain is fine!" Kei pouted. He rubbed his head as if to make sure. " Hey, nii-chan, will you tell me the mochi story? About rabbit-chan who makes mochi on the moon?"
"Well you basically just said it yourself," Akiteru laughed as he finished his own mochi ice. "When you look at the moon at night you can see rabbit-chan making mochi up there."
Kei's face lit up as if this was the first time he had heard the little story. "Did we just eat mochi from the moon?"
Akiteru smiled and ruffled Kei's hair. "Who's to say? Nii-chan has some homework to do, so why don't you go play with your dinosaurs now?"
Kei bounced in his seat. "Okay! Can we look at the moon tonight nii-chan? If it's big?"
Akiteru looked down at his little brother's hopeful face. It was hard not to love that kid, even if he was a pain sometimes. "Yeah, let's look at the big moon later, Kei."
Kei grabbed his sleeve. "Promise?" He extended the little finger of his right hand, and Akiteru proceeded to link his little finger with Kei's.
"Promise."
Akiteru kept that promise, but not the ones that came later, he thought. He lay on his side on the bed, staring at the moonlight. He wondered if Kei was watching the moon, too.
He stood up and opened the curtains. The view of campus outside his window was awash with moonlight. The lawns and paths and buildings which made up the university were empty. Akiteru looked and saw those familiar shapes on the face of the moon, which he and Kei were old enough to know now were just geological phenomena. He still tried to find that rabbit-shape, though.
Akiteru checked the clock on his bedside table. 2:32, it read in glaring red digits. He sighed. Not much chance of a restful night at this rate.
He thought again of his brother, probably taller and even more reticent than he was the last time Akiteru caught a glimpse of him on a visit home. He thought of him watching the moon.
He sat down at his desk again and turned the small lamp on. He slowly opened his desk drawer as if there was a poisonous animal inside and took out the half-written letter.
He kept the beginning as it was, only crossing out the line about volleyball. Instead he wrote:
Can I ask you something? Is your life better now? Are you happier now that I went away? I would understand that if it were true. I know I embarrassed you and made you feel terribly ashamed. More than anything I wish I could be the person you saw before that day, the one you looked up to. Maybe that's selfish of me. I wish you would tell me what you want. We're brothers, there's no changing that, but I hope someday we can be friends, too. I'm still trying to figure out who I am, and I know you probably are too. I remember being fifteen and it wasn't easy. I hope someday you will let me be there for you again. I will do my best not to let you down.
Your brother, -Akiteru
Akiteru let his pen fall from his fingers and clatter on the desk. He read and re-read the letter before slipping it into an envelope, which he left on his desk unsealed and unaddressed.
He switched off the lamp and his room was covered in moonlight once again, the white envelope almost glowing in the light.
Progress, Akiteru told himself. He threw himself on the bed and shut his eyes. When he finally slept, Akiteru dreamed of moonlight and a small boy's smile.
FILL: TEAM HAZUKI NAGISA / RYUUGAZAKI REI, G
Note: I chose Kei & Akiteru. The firefly thing is a pun on the kanji in Kei's name, which means firefly.
Sometimes when Akiteru couldn't sleep, he would stay up and write letters to Kei. Though Akiteru was the one who had gone away to college, it felt to Akiteru that Kei had left him first.
If the coffee Akiteru drank to help him stay alert while studying didn't keep him up, his memories did. He would never forget the day Kei saw him on the in the stands at that Karasuno game; the game that he let Kei believe he would be a starting player in.
While he knew nothing would come of it, he found himself writing anyway.
Dear Kei,
We learned about bioluminescence in biology class today and it made me think of you--not just because of the whole "firefly" thing (haha), but because I think you'd find it really interesting. Do you know if there were ever bioluminescent dinosaurs? I know one of your old T-rex toys was glow-in-the dark--or maybe it was a triceratops? It was the one you left at the park when you were three and you cried and cried until I found it again after searching the playground for like an hour. You were so happy when I found it again!
How's volleyball going? Are you still playing middle blocker
This is where the letters usually ended; when Akiteru either put them away in a drawer of his desk or violently crumpled them up and threw them in the trash, depending on how his night was going. Tonight the letter ended up in a drawer. Akiteru thought the beginning part was salvageable if he ever stopped being such a coward and actually wrote a real, honest letter to his brother.
Tonight was a full moon. Though he had put his books away a few hours ago, Akiteru was still wide awake. The moonlight filtered through his thin dorm curtains and spilled across the thin dorm carpet. He missed home. He missed his house and his parents and, of course Kei.
He closed his eyes in an attempt to drift off to sleep. It was not the first such attempt of the night, and like the previous attempts, it led him to a convoluted twist of thoughts and memories instead of sleep. Suddenly Kei was six again and eating strawberry mochi ice with thirteen-year-old Akiteru, who had just come home from volleyball practice. Akiteru had brought the treats home as a special snack.
"This is so good, nii-chan!" Kei exclaimed between bites. His eyes were wide behind the thick frames of his glasses, which he had even at that age.
"I'm glad you like it," Akiteru said, "Just slow down before you get a brain freeze, eh?"
"My brain is fine!" Kei pouted. He rubbed his head as if to make sure. " Hey, nii-chan, will you tell me the mochi story? About rabbit-chan who makes mochi on the moon?"
"Well you basically just said it yourself," Akiteru laughed as he finished his own mochi ice. "When you look at the moon at night you can see rabbit-chan making mochi up there."
Kei's face lit up as if this was the first time he had heard the little story. "Did we just eat mochi from the moon?"
Akiteru smiled and ruffled Kei's hair. "Who's to say? Nii-chan has some homework to do, so why don't you go play with your dinosaurs now?"
Kei bounced in his seat. "Okay! Can we look at the moon tonight nii-chan? If it's big?"
Akiteru looked down at his little brother's hopeful face. It was hard not to love that kid, even if he was a pain sometimes. "Yeah, let's look at the big moon later, Kei."
Kei grabbed his sleeve. "Promise?" He extended the little finger of his right hand, and Akiteru proceeded to link his little finger with Kei's.
"Promise."
Akiteru kept that promise, but not the ones that came later, he thought. He lay on his side on the bed, staring at the moonlight. He wondered if Kei was watching the moon, too.
He stood up and opened the curtains. The view of campus outside his window was awash with moonlight. The lawns and paths and buildings which made up the university were empty. Akiteru looked and saw those familiar shapes on the face of the moon, which he and Kei were old enough to know now were just geological phenomena. He still tried to find that rabbit-shape, though.
Akiteru checked the clock on his bedside table. 2:32, it read in glaring red digits. He sighed. Not much chance of a restful night at this rate.
He thought again of his brother, probably taller and even more reticent than he was the last time Akiteru caught a glimpse of him on a visit home. He thought of him watching the moon.
He sat down at his desk again and turned the small lamp on. He slowly opened his desk drawer as if there was a poisonous animal inside and took out the half-written letter.
He kept the beginning as it was, only crossing out the line about volleyball. Instead he wrote:
Can I ask you something? Is your life better now? Are you happier now that I went away? I would understand that if it were true. I know I embarrassed you and made you feel terribly ashamed. More than anything I wish I could be the person you saw before that day, the one you looked up to. Maybe that's selfish of me. I wish you would tell me what you want. We're brothers, there's no changing that, but I hope someday we can be friends, too. I'm still trying to figure out who I am, and I know you probably are too. I remember being fifteen and it wasn't easy. I hope someday you will let me be there for you again. I will do my best not to let you down.
Your brother,
-Akiteru
Akiteru let his pen fall from his fingers and clatter on the desk. He read and re-read the letter before slipping it into an envelope, which he left on his desk unsealed and unaddressed.
He switched off the lamp and his room was covered in moonlight once again, the white envelope almost glowing in the light.
Progress, Akiteru told himself. He threw himself on the bed and shut his eyes. When he finally slept, Akiteru dreamed of moonlight and a small boy's smile.