no major warnings T for some profane language. JSYK, Onoda is a girl. And, unfortuately, this version of Midousuji is not very three dimensional. words: 2806
Once upon a time, in the small kingdom of Sohoku within the mythical land of Chiba, there was an irrepressible young princess named Onoda Sakamichi, who loved nothing more than climbing hills on her bicycle. Her poor mother had no idea what was to be done with Sakamichi, as every day, instead of tending to her lessons or playing with other children, the young princess would pull out her bicycle and say, "I'm off to Akihabara!", and bike off across the hills, not to return until the sun was nearly set. No matter what steps the Queen took to make the trip harder, from locking the doors to changing the gears on the bike, the princess went all the same.
"Oh goodness!" Sakamichi's mother cried. "My poor child, to act in such a way! Akihabara must be a stonghold of the Fair Folk! I'm sure of it, the princess is bewitched!" And on the morning of Sakamichi's fifteenth birthday, her mother announced to the land, "Alack and alas! Your darling Princess Sakamichi has been placed under a fairy curse! Every day, they bid her to ride her bicycle all the way to Akihabara, and spend her day under their spell, then when they release her at night to send her home, she arrives tired and sore and covered in the dust of the road, and my heart breaks to see her so! Let all the knights and heroes of the land now hear: if any can break the fairies' curse on Princess Sakamichi before sundown on her sixteenth birthday, one year from today, that hero shall have half of our kingdom and the chance to woo the princess herself! Should she accept you, you will be married that day!"
For the Queen was desperate, but hardly intended to free her daughter from the fairies only to engage her to a hero she barely knew. That would be stupid! And she considered herself quite a progressive Queen in those respects.
Well, the chance to become lord of half of Sohoku, and to woo the Princess Sakamichi, was a fair prize indeed! The Queen hardly lacked for heroes willing to make the attempt. First, Sir Tadokoro of Bear Grove went to the castle, and he vowed to use his tremendous speed to overtake Princess Sakamichi, and turn her back home before she passed through his forests. Second, Duke Makishima of the Spider Heights bowed to the Queen and gave his word that he would overtake Princess Sakamichi on the mountain passes, where he would turn her back home should Sir Tadokoro fail. Last of all, Lord Kinjou of Snake Valley presented himself, swearing to chase after the princess to the gates of Akihabara itself. One by one, they accepted their task, and waited in by the road for the next day, when Princess Sakamichi would ride again.
Little did they know where their quest would lead!
The next day, as usual, Princess Sakamichi pulled her bike out of the stable and called to her mother the Queen, "Goodbye, Mom! I'm off to Akihabara!" And as usual, she set off down the road, but today, something was different. Her bike chain slipped off when she went around the first bend, and she had to stop to fix it. Just as she did, a young man approached, whom she could see was a commoner from the shabby rags he wore, but the Princess was not a rude Princess, and she honestly couldn't care less about such things. The important issue at hand was that he was just idling around with a bicycle, not working, which meant he wasn't busy. That, in turn, meant he might be able to be her travel companion, something she'd never had before!. "Hi, there!" she called out.
"Umm. Hi?" the commoner answered.
"I see you have a bicycle! Would you like to come with me to Akihabara?"
"Would I... what?"
The Princess Sakamichi stuck out her hand and tried again. "Nice to meet you! My name is Onoda Sakamichi, and if you'd like to come with me to Akihabara, I'd love to have a friend!"
"Hmph. Imaizumi Shunsuke. And I'm not going to have friends until I meet someone who can beat me in a bicycle race."
"But why?" Sakamichi asked. That seemed odd to say the least.
"Well, not that I ever liked people... but I'm under a fairy curse. A lord of the Fair Folk, one Midousuji by name, beat me when I challenged him, and as a penalty, I have to remain alone and friendless until another human beats me in a bicycle race. Those are the rules. But I'm the best, and I'm bound to ride at full speed whenever someone approaches, so the curse will never break."
"Well, I guess that makes sense, then." Or so Sakamichi said. Honestly, she didn't think that made sense at all. The two of them were talking just fine, so they were halfway to being friends already! Then again, the trick with fairy curses was finding loopholes. "So, would you mind if I challenged you to a race?"
His eyes perked up. "Where to?"
Pointing down the road, Princess Sakamichi smiled and told him, "Akihabara."
"It's a deal."
So they both hopped on their bikes again and started down the road as fast as their legs could spin. They raced over hill, and over dale, and before long they'd reached Bear Grove, where Sir Tadokoro lay in wait. The knight waited patiently to spy Princess Sakamichi, mindful of his duty to the Queen, but couldn't believe his eyes when he saw two people bicycling instead of one, both dashing through his grove at speeds high enough to leave clouds of dust in their wake.
"Which one is the Princess?" he wondered to himself, for with the Princess constantly away in Akihabara, very few people actually knew what she looked like.
Just then, Sir Tadokoro heard a loud voice singing, coming from the figure in yellow chasing tenaciously behind the figure in blue. "Princess!" the figure sang, "Princess! I love you, love you, love you so! Princess! Princess!"
"Well, then!" thought Sir Tadokoro, "That takes care of that! The one in front must be the princess, and she certainly is riding like she's been bewitched by the fairies. The other one must be another challenger to set the Princess free!" So he set off after them, never realizing that the figure in yellow whom he quite ignored was the person he was supposed to stop. He biked as fast as he could, but as soon as he caught up to Imaizumi (who, of course, he thought was Princess Sakamichi), the biker in blue clicked into a higher gear, sprinting ever faster. And, desperate to hang onto the mysterious Imaizumi, Princess Sakamichi roared, pedaling faster and faster while she sang.
"Princess! Princess! I love you, love you, love you so!"
What a sight for Duke Makishima to see when the three of them entered the Spider Heights! Imaizumi, speeding so fast he was a blur, Sir Tadokoro and Princess Sakamichi close on his tail. It was clear to him that the Queen had underestimated the strength of the curse she thought her daughter was under. Rarely before had Duke Makishima seen someone outpace Sir Tadokoro in his own domain! So, when Imaizumi started up the mountains, and Sakamichi climbed the hills she had climbed so often on her way to Akihabara, not even breaking the refrain of her song, Duke Makishima climbed after them. To the fading Sir Tadokoro, who had excellent sprints but was not at his best in the mountains, he yelled, "Get behind me! I'll pull you!"
"Do you think the singing is helping the other guy chase the Princess? Do you think we should try it?" Sir Tadokoro asked.
Ahead of them, Duke Makishima heard a raw, raucous voice sing out, "Princess! Princess! I love you, love you, love you so! Princess! Princess!"
A little bit sick to his stomach, Duke Makishima shook his head. "No. We should definitely not sing that. Now let's go."
Together, Duke Makishima and Sir Tadokoro managed to keep on the blue biker's tail to the end of the Spider Heights, but not once could they overtake him, nor could they lose the yellow biker they considered their competition. It was a bit disconcerting to them, how the yellow biker smiled a glowing smile the first time she stopped singing in the middle of the race, and asked them with sparkling eyes, "Are you here to help break the fairy curse, too?! That's wonderful! Thank you so much! I'm sure Imaizumi-kun will be very pleased!"
"Doesn't she know this is a competition?" Sir Tadokoro whispered to Duke Makishima.
"How should I know?" Duke Makishima replied. "And who the hell is Imaizumi-kun? Do you think the Princess has a secret sweetheart, and he hired that shrimp to break the curse for him?"
"Well, we're not going to find out until we're done."
And that was how Lord Kinjou found them, racing with all their might to overtake the biker in blue, and singing along with the biker in yellow despite Duke Makishima's distaste. "Princess! Princess!" they sang, and sensing that this was the thing to do, Lord Kinjou joined in. "I love you, love you, love you so! Princess! Princess!"
"What in hell is going on?" Lord Kinjou asked his fellow challengers. "How is the Princess staying ahead of both of you?"
Duke Makishima rolled his eyes. "Well, gosh, maybe she bikes a lot. Y'think?"
"A Princess! That's what you are!" Sir Tadokoro bellowed. He became very single-minded during a chase, you see, and the song that Sakamichi was singing was quite catchy.
Pedaling furiously, the five of them rode right up to the gates of Akihabara, just as Lord Kinjou had sworn, and as they passed through the gates, the blue and yellow riders skidded to a halt -- the blue rider coming in ahead by a mere inch. The three riders in pursuit had to steer off to the sides to avoid hitting them.
"That's the closest anyone's ever come to catching me," Imaizumi panted.
Sakamichi brightened up, suddenly able to stand again despite the harshness of the ride. "Does that mean we can be friends?"
But Imaizumi shook his head. "No. A loss is a loss, no matter how slim. The Fairy Lord Midousuji will already be on his way here to take me back," he explained.
"Ah ha!" thought Sir Tadokoro, Duke Makishima, and Lord Kinjou. "The true enemy appears! And if we defeat Midousuji, then the Princess will be truly free!"
Not two seconds later, a sinister, smiling figure slunk around the corner on a bicycle like none that had ever been seen in the human world. Clothed all in purple and craning his neck, no one had any doubt that this was the one and only Fairy Lord Midousuji. He cackled and clicked his teeth and said, "Tired of winning already, Piggy-zumi? I thought that was what you wanted! Zumi-zumi zoom-zoom!"
"Midousuji!" yelled the rider in blue, and he took off after the fairy lord.
Well, you can just imagine how startled everyone was by that. They stared on blankly as they caught their breaths. Finally, the first to speak was neither Sakamichi nor the gallant pursuers, but a red-head walking his bike through the town.
"What the hell was that?!" the young man asked.
"The Fairy Lord Midousuji running off with his prize," answered Sir Tadokoro.
"Ah. I hate it when that happens. Naruko Shoukichi, by the way."
"Nice to meet you, Naruko-kun," Princess Sakamichi said, smile turning into a fierce stare turned toward the backs of the departing Imaizumi and Midousuji. "Normally I'd stay to chat and do some shopping, but right now we have to rescue Imaizumi-kun. Are you up for a race?"
"Hell yeah! I'll race anyone!"
At which point they all would have sped off immediately if Lord Kinjou hadn't blocked their way. "Just a minute, now. We were told to rescue Princess Sakamichi of Sohoku. But if you're saying that enchanted fellow is named Imaizumi, where's the Princess?"
Standing up on her pedals, Sakamichi growled, "I am the Princess!" and swerved around Lord Kinjou, roaring her way after the other bikers.
"You tell 'em, Your Highness!" Naruko whooped, although he was new to the area and entirely unaware of exactly which kingdom Sakamichi was Princess of. This was a race, and quite interesting, and that was all he cared about. Following behind Sakamichi's rear wheel, he sped out onto the road as well.
Meanwhile, the three heroes shared a shrug. "You heard the lady," Sir Tadokoro said.
"Let's go," Lord Kinjou agreed.
"What a fucking pain in the ass," Duke Makishima grumbled, but he went anyway. He might not be getting half of the kingdom, as he could tell by now, but he wasn't about to let the other heroes bike away and leave him in Akihabara.
Back through Snake Valley, back across the Spider Heights, back beyond the Bear Grove, their motley crew vied to reach Sohoku Castle first.
"Zumi-zumi zoom-zoom!"
"Midousujiiiii!"
"I love you, love you, love you so!"
"Bullet train!
"Hell yeah, old man!"
"Let's bring victory back to Sohoku."
"Hmph."
All along the road, people stepped out of their way, and gathered to cheer as the race reached the city outside the palace gates. The Queen herself stepped out of her tower to see what all the commotion was. She was hardly surprised to see a Fairy Lord leading a string of heroes, some of whom she didn't know, in a desperate race for her front drawbridge, given the fact that she'd specifically called for heroes to challenge a fairy. And as for the unknown ones, well... it was an established fact that heroes tended to attract other heroes, just like you'd use a little piece of lint to roll the rest of a bunch of lint into a ball. That's just how heroes were.
The Queen was much more concerned that Sakamichi's helmet might not be tightened properly for such a fierce race, especially when they were approaching the drawbridge so fast. "Lower the bridge!" she yelled to the guards.
"But Your Majesty! The Fairy Lord Midousuji is with them!"
"Oh, honestly. Princess Sakamichi is cycling right there next to him. I should hardly think she'd lose a race to her own front door! Just be a dear and lower the bridge, would you?"
And indeed, as the bridge was lowered, Imaizumi and Midousuji had to adjust their speed while they gauged the slope of the hill and the rate at which the bridge came down, Princess Sakamichi put on a new burst of speed. After all, she'd been biking this path her entire life, and knew it as well as she knew her own wheel spokes.
"A Princess! That's what you are!" she roared, flying off the top of the hill to land on the drawbridge as it lowered. She beat both Imaizumi and Midousuji by the length of an entire bike and a half. Naruko, Lord Kinjou, Duke Makishima, and Sir Tadokoro came up right behind them, just in time to see Midousuji melt into a puddle of goo.
"Di...sgu...stiiiiiiiiiiiiiing..." he croaked with his last breath.
"You brought back my precious Sakamichi!" the Queen declared. She ran out of the palace with open arms, embracing her daughter and Imaizumi, who was suddenly very confused. "As promised, half my kingdom is yours! And you have my permission to woo the Princess, should she wish to have you!"
"Umm, wait. What?"
Lord Kinjou whispered in the Queen's ear, "It seems the one under a fairy curse was this lad here, not the Princess. And she's the one who rescued him just now."
"Oh. My. I suppose she really meant it about wanting to collect all those Brothers Grimm figurines! Well, the young man still brought her home, and you all did your best, that's what counts. Now, let me put in an order that the cook should make supper for all of you, and the maids should run some baths. Come on, everybody, let's get you cleaned up!"
How could they refuse?
Meanwhile, Imaizumi asked the Princess, "Wait. Does this mean I get to date you? I'm confused."
"If you want to!" Sakamichi answered, pulling the young man towards the castle. "Come on! I want to show you my Brothers Grimm collection! And I have some Chaucer, too! That's really old school, so it's hard to find anymore. Do you want to see?"
"O-okay... I guess..."
And they lived happily ever after, forever and ever. The end.
FILL: TEAM ARAKITA YASUTOMO/FUKUTOMI JUICHI, T
JSYK, Onoda is a girl. And, unfortuately, this version of Midousuji is not very three dimensional.
words: 2806
Once upon a time, in the small kingdom of Sohoku within the mythical land of Chiba, there was an irrepressible young princess named Onoda Sakamichi, who loved nothing more than climbing hills on her bicycle. Her poor mother had no idea what was to be done with Sakamichi, as every day, instead of tending to her lessons or playing with other children, the young princess would pull out her bicycle and say, "I'm off to Akihabara!", and bike off across the hills, not to return until the sun was nearly set. No matter what steps the Queen took to make the trip harder, from locking the doors to changing the gears on the bike, the princess went all the same.
"Oh goodness!" Sakamichi's mother cried. "My poor child, to act in such a way! Akihabara must be a stonghold of the Fair Folk! I'm sure of it, the princess is bewitched!" And on the morning of Sakamichi's fifteenth birthday, her mother announced to the land, "Alack and alas! Your darling Princess Sakamichi has been placed under a fairy curse! Every day, they bid her to ride her bicycle all the way to Akihabara, and spend her day under their spell, then when they release her at night to send her home, she arrives tired and sore and covered in the dust of the road, and my heart breaks to see her so! Let all the knights and heroes of the land now hear: if any can break the fairies' curse on Princess Sakamichi before sundown on her sixteenth birthday, one year from today, that hero shall have half of our kingdom and the chance to woo the princess herself! Should she accept you, you will be married that day!"
For the Queen was desperate, but hardly intended to free her daughter from the fairies only to engage her to a hero she barely knew. That would be stupid! And she considered herself quite a progressive Queen in those respects.
Well, the chance to become lord of half of Sohoku, and to woo the Princess Sakamichi, was a fair prize indeed! The Queen hardly lacked for heroes willing to make the attempt. First, Sir Tadokoro of Bear Grove went to the castle, and he vowed to use his tremendous speed to overtake Princess Sakamichi, and turn her back home before she passed through his forests. Second, Duke Makishima of the Spider Heights bowed to the Queen and gave his word that he would overtake Princess Sakamichi on the mountain passes, where he would turn her back home should Sir Tadokoro fail. Last of all, Lord Kinjou of Snake Valley presented himself, swearing to chase after the princess to the gates of Akihabara itself. One by one, they accepted their task, and waited in by the road for the next day, when Princess Sakamichi would ride again.
Little did they know where their quest would lead!
The next day, as usual, Princess Sakamichi pulled her bike out of the stable and called to her mother the Queen, "Goodbye, Mom! I'm off to Akihabara!" And as usual, she set off down the road, but today, something was different. Her bike chain slipped off when she went around the first bend, and she had to stop to fix it. Just as she did, a young man approached, whom she could see was a commoner from the shabby rags he wore, but the Princess was not a rude Princess, and she honestly couldn't care less about such things. The important issue at hand was that he was just idling around with a bicycle, not working, which meant he wasn't busy. That, in turn, meant he might be able to be her travel companion, something she'd never had before!. "Hi, there!" she called out.
"Umm. Hi?" the commoner answered.
"I see you have a bicycle! Would you like to come with me to Akihabara?"
"Would I... what?"
The Princess Sakamichi stuck out her hand and tried again. "Nice to meet you! My name is Onoda Sakamichi, and if you'd like to come with me to Akihabara, I'd love to have a friend!"
"Hmph. Imaizumi Shunsuke. And I'm not going to have friends until I meet someone who can beat me in a bicycle race."
"But why?" Sakamichi asked. That seemed odd to say the least.
"Well, not that I ever liked people... but I'm under a fairy curse. A lord of the Fair Folk, one Midousuji by name, beat me when I challenged him, and as a penalty, I have to remain alone and friendless until another human beats me in a bicycle race. Those are the rules. But I'm the best, and I'm bound to ride at full speed whenever someone approaches, so the curse will never break."
"Well, I guess that makes sense, then." Or so Sakamichi said. Honestly, she didn't think that made sense at all. The two of them were talking just fine, so they were halfway to being friends already! Then again, the trick with fairy curses was finding loopholes. "So, would you mind if I challenged you to a race?"
His eyes perked up. "Where to?"
Pointing down the road, Princess Sakamichi smiled and told him, "Akihabara."
"It's a deal."
So they both hopped on their bikes again and started down the road as fast as their legs could spin. They raced over hill, and over dale, and before long they'd reached Bear Grove, where Sir Tadokoro lay in wait. The knight waited patiently to spy Princess Sakamichi, mindful of his duty to the Queen, but couldn't believe his eyes when he saw two people bicycling instead of one, both dashing through his grove at speeds high enough to leave clouds of dust in their wake.
"Which one is the Princess?" he wondered to himself, for with the Princess constantly away in Akihabara, very few people actually knew what she looked like.
Just then, Sir Tadokoro heard a loud voice singing, coming from the figure in yellow chasing tenaciously behind the figure in blue. "Princess!" the figure sang, "Princess! I love you, love you, love you so! Princess! Princess!"
"Well, then!" thought Sir Tadokoro, "That takes care of that! The one in front must be the princess, and she certainly is riding like she's been bewitched by the fairies. The other one must be another challenger to set the Princess free!" So he set off after them, never realizing that the figure in yellow whom he quite ignored was the person he was supposed to stop. He biked as fast as he could, but as soon as he caught up to Imaizumi (who, of course, he thought was Princess Sakamichi), the biker in blue clicked into a higher gear, sprinting ever faster. And, desperate to hang onto the mysterious Imaizumi, Princess Sakamichi roared, pedaling faster and faster while she sang.
"Princess! Princess! I love you, love you, love you so!"
What a sight for Duke Makishima to see when the three of them entered the Spider Heights! Imaizumi, speeding so fast he was a blur, Sir Tadokoro and Princess Sakamichi close on his tail. It was clear to him that the Queen had underestimated the strength of the curse she thought her daughter was under. Rarely before had Duke Makishima seen someone outpace Sir Tadokoro in his own domain! So, when Imaizumi started up the mountains, and Sakamichi climbed the hills she had climbed so often on her way to Akihabara, not even breaking the refrain of her song, Duke Makishima climbed after them. To the fading Sir Tadokoro, who had excellent sprints but was not at his best in the mountains, he yelled, "Get behind me! I'll pull you!"
"Do you think the singing is helping the other guy chase the Princess? Do you think we should try it?" Sir Tadokoro asked.
Ahead of them, Duke Makishima heard a raw, raucous voice sing out, "Princess! Princess! I love you, love you, love you so! Princess! Princess!"
A little bit sick to his stomach, Duke Makishima shook his head. "No. We should definitely not sing that. Now let's go."
Together, Duke Makishima and Sir Tadokoro managed to keep on the blue biker's tail to the end of the Spider Heights, but not once could they overtake him, nor could they lose the yellow biker they considered their competition. It was a bit disconcerting to them, how the yellow biker smiled a glowing smile the first time she stopped singing in the middle of the race, and asked them with sparkling eyes, "Are you here to help break the fairy curse, too?! That's wonderful! Thank you so much! I'm sure Imaizumi-kun will be very pleased!"
"Doesn't she know this is a competition?" Sir Tadokoro whispered to Duke Makishima.
"How should I know?" Duke Makishima replied. "And who the hell is Imaizumi-kun? Do you think the Princess has a secret sweetheart, and he hired that shrimp to break the curse for him?"
"Well, we're not going to find out until we're done."
And that was how Lord Kinjou found them, racing with all their might to overtake the biker in blue, and singing along with the biker in yellow despite Duke Makishima's distaste. "Princess! Princess!" they sang, and sensing that this was the thing to do, Lord Kinjou joined in. "I love you, love you, love you so! Princess! Princess!"
"What in hell is going on?" Lord Kinjou asked his fellow challengers. "How is the Princess staying ahead of both of you?"
Duke Makishima rolled his eyes. "Well, gosh, maybe she bikes a lot. Y'think?"
"A Princess! That's what you are!" Sir Tadokoro bellowed. He became very single-minded during a chase, you see, and the song that Sakamichi was singing was quite catchy.
Pedaling furiously, the five of them rode right up to the gates of Akihabara, just as Lord Kinjou had sworn, and as they passed through the gates, the blue and yellow riders skidded to a halt -- the blue rider coming in ahead by a mere inch. The three riders in pursuit had to steer off to the sides to avoid hitting them.
"That's the closest anyone's ever come to catching me," Imaizumi panted.
Sakamichi brightened up, suddenly able to stand again despite the harshness of the ride. "Does that mean we can be friends?"
But Imaizumi shook his head. "No. A loss is a loss, no matter how slim. The Fairy Lord Midousuji will already be on his way here to take me back," he explained.
"Ah ha!" thought Sir Tadokoro, Duke Makishima, and Lord Kinjou. "The true enemy appears! And if we defeat Midousuji, then the Princess will be truly free!"
Not two seconds later, a sinister, smiling figure slunk around the corner on a bicycle like none that had ever been seen in the human world. Clothed all in purple and craning his neck, no one had any doubt that this was the one and only Fairy Lord Midousuji. He cackled and clicked his teeth and said, "Tired of winning already, Piggy-zumi? I thought that was what you wanted! Zumi-zumi zoom-zoom!"
"Midousuji!" yelled the rider in blue, and he took off after the fairy lord.
"Digusting! Zumi-zumi zoom-zoom! Zumi-zumi zoom-zoom!"
"I'll get you this time, Midousuji!"
Well, you can just imagine how startled everyone was by that. They stared on blankly as they caught their breaths. Finally, the first to speak was neither Sakamichi nor the gallant pursuers, but a red-head walking his bike through the town.
"What the hell was that?!" the young man asked.
"The Fairy Lord Midousuji running off with his prize," answered Sir Tadokoro.
"Ah. I hate it when that happens. Naruko Shoukichi, by the way."
"Nice to meet you, Naruko-kun," Princess Sakamichi said, smile turning into a fierce stare turned toward the backs of the departing Imaizumi and Midousuji. "Normally I'd stay to chat and do some shopping, but right now we have to rescue Imaizumi-kun. Are you up for a race?"
"Hell yeah! I'll race anyone!"
At which point they all would have sped off immediately if Lord Kinjou hadn't blocked their way. "Just a minute, now. We were told to rescue Princess Sakamichi of Sohoku. But if you're saying that enchanted fellow is named Imaizumi, where's the Princess?"
Standing up on her pedals, Sakamichi growled, "I am the Princess!" and swerved around Lord Kinjou, roaring her way after the other bikers.
"You tell 'em, Your Highness!" Naruko whooped, although he was new to the area and entirely unaware of exactly which kingdom Sakamichi was Princess of. This was a race, and quite interesting, and that was all he cared about. Following behind Sakamichi's rear wheel, he sped out onto the road as well.
Meanwhile, the three heroes shared a shrug. "You heard the lady," Sir Tadokoro said.
"Let's go," Lord Kinjou agreed.
"What a fucking pain in the ass," Duke Makishima grumbled, but he went anyway. He might not be getting half of the kingdom, as he could tell by now, but he wasn't about to let the other heroes bike away and leave him in Akihabara.
Back through Snake Valley, back across the Spider Heights, back beyond the Bear Grove, their motley crew vied to reach Sohoku Castle first.
"Zumi-zumi zoom-zoom!"
"Midousujiiiii!"
"I love you, love you, love you so!"
"Bullet train!
"Hell yeah, old man!"
"Let's bring victory back to Sohoku."
"Hmph."
All along the road, people stepped out of their way, and gathered to cheer as the race reached the city outside the palace gates. The Queen herself stepped out of her tower to see what all the commotion was. She was hardly surprised to see a Fairy Lord leading a string of heroes, some of whom she didn't know, in a desperate race for her front drawbridge, given the fact that she'd specifically called for heroes to challenge a fairy. And as for the unknown ones, well... it was an established fact that heroes tended to attract other heroes, just like you'd use a little piece of lint to roll the rest of a bunch of lint into a ball. That's just how heroes were.
The Queen was much more concerned that Sakamichi's helmet might not be tightened properly for such a fierce race, especially when they were approaching the drawbridge so fast. "Lower the bridge!" she yelled to the guards.
"But Your Majesty! The Fairy Lord Midousuji is with them!"
"Oh, honestly. Princess Sakamichi is cycling right there next to him. I should hardly think she'd lose a race to her own front door! Just be a dear and lower the bridge, would you?"
And indeed, as the bridge was lowered, Imaizumi and Midousuji had to adjust their speed while they gauged the slope of the hill and the rate at which the bridge came down, Princess Sakamichi put on a new burst of speed. After all, she'd been biking this path her entire life, and knew it as well as she knew her own wheel spokes.
"A Princess! That's what you are!" she roared, flying off the top of the hill to land on the drawbridge as it lowered. She beat both Imaizumi and Midousuji by the length of an entire bike and a half. Naruko, Lord Kinjou, Duke Makishima, and Sir Tadokoro came up right behind them, just in time to see Midousuji melt into a puddle of goo.
"Di...sgu...stiiiiiiiiiiiiiing..." he croaked with his last breath.
"You brought back my precious Sakamichi!" the Queen declared. She ran out of the palace with open arms, embracing her daughter and Imaizumi, who was suddenly very confused. "As promised, half my kingdom is yours! And you have my permission to woo the Princess, should she wish to have you!"
"Umm, wait. What?"
Lord Kinjou whispered in the Queen's ear, "It seems the one under a fairy curse was this lad here, not the Princess. And she's the one who rescued him just now."
"Oh. My. I suppose she really meant it about wanting to collect all those Brothers Grimm figurines! Well, the young man still brought her home, and you all did your best, that's what counts. Now, let me put in an order that the cook should make supper for all of you, and the maids should run some baths. Come on, everybody, let's get you cleaned up!"
How could they refuse?
Meanwhile, Imaizumi asked the Princess, "Wait. Does this mean I get to date you? I'm confused."
"If you want to!" Sakamichi answered, pulling the young man towards the castle. "Come on! I want to show you my Brothers Grimm collection! And I have some Chaucer, too! That's really old school, so it's hard to find anymore. Do you want to see?"
"O-okay... I guess..."
And they lived happily ever after, forever and ever. The end.